Positive Reinforcement

Remember that you are reinforcing a behavior, not a person.  It's easy to confuse encouragment and positive reinforcement.  We feel the need to encourage people, thinking that encouragment will help them achieve their goal.  "You can do it," we hear the spectators shout as the runners push towards the finish line.  "Good job.  You played your best," says the coach to the young player.  Encouragment feels good to both the giver and the receiver, so it's understandable that it's viewed as a critical element of success.

No one succeeds without a little encouragement, but understanding that behaviors and not people are what should be reinforced will help you achieve your goals faster and with greater success.  This applies especially when we are trying to reinforce our own behaviors.  You must move beyond simple self-encouragement to clearly define the target behavior, create a simple reinforcing action, and consistently pair the two.  Of course, positive self-talk is still motivational, but it will ultimately be positve reinforcement that will ensure increased frequency of your identified behavior and get you closer to achieving your goal.