Your attitude towards these two words will save or destroy your relationships

You've probably said "I'm sorry" a lot in your personal and professional lifetime, but were you saying it for your own benefit or because you felt it was owed? The former attitude comes in two types.  In the first "I'm sorry" type, it has become a way of avoiding confrontation.  It's a knee jerk reaction formed from a habitual need to control every situation and diffuse perceived threats to your dominance.  You tell yourself that it's just the kind of self-effacing trait that makes you a great leader.  It doesn't.

The second "I'm sorry" type is the most detrimental to your relationships because it is actually an anti-apology.  Have you ever told someone that you are sorry they feel that way?  Is that an apology?  No, it is instead a way of placing blame.  While you may consciously perceive this as an apology and pat yourself on the back for recognizing someone's feelings, the reality is that you just caused more damage to that relationship than through the initial offense.  To you it feels like an effective way to maintain your own dominance in the conversation, but to the recipient it's a clear indicator that you have not been an empathic listener.

Understanding when to apologize is a skill to be learned.  The art of the apology will create trust and grow deeper and more meaningful relationships at home and at work.  Learning how not to apologize is easy if you just remember the power in those two little words.